I Wanna, I Will

I wanna admire the blue cotton candy sky

I wanna stop letting things pass me by

I wanna try something fresh and simple

I wanna get outa here and escape this cripple

Where can I find a place of solace?

Overlooking shadows of green

And meadows of yellow velvet

Sun splattering upon my windows of pane

Dandelions sweeping my ankles and toes

Away from chatter, but close to peace

Splendor, exquisiteness reaching for belonging

Hushed tranquility soothing the stillness

I will admire the amethyst mountains so resolved

I will embrace the thought of my qualms dissolved

I will run free in this field of bliss and delight

I will take off just as an eagle takes flight. 

Butterfly Elegy

             For Vanessa                

Fly away young butterfly

to where we use to play.

Fly away young butterfly

we’ll get back to you someday.

Where warmness kindles and

love abounds; its better there.

Where time is slowed and untouched light,

we’ll each hold you tight with care.

Fly away young butterfly-

perfection personified.

Fly away young butterfly

your laughter has not died.

A day with pure happiness

where twinkling dost flow

upon me, open arms

to them my heart will go.

Fly away young butterfly

past your time on earth.

So fly away young butterfly

you were chosen before birth.

                                                     

I love you Vanessa

better because...

we are all made better and made the people we are through the people that we know and meet throughout our lives.  everyone that you meet has a specific role in your life...whether it is a small role or a incredibly huge one, there is still a reason your lives paths crossed.
i was recently asked the question of who has made me who i am and strive to be.  i've pondered this and come up with a great list of people.  of course i would never be able to cover all the hundreds of people that have made an impact or been an example in my life, but at least i can touch on some of them.

MOM
she's instilled in me forever the desire to do good.  i never want to disappoint my mommy.  my mom is also a great example of service and giving to others.  she is always making dinner, helping out, weeding, or just talking to someone else and making their day.

DAD
taught me hard work.  seldom do i see my dad wasting time or not doing some kind of work.  i've learned that whatever it is i want to be good at, hard work needs to come along with it.  i've also learned that when little things go bad it is okay and they shouldn't turn into a big deal.  he's always so laid back and patient even while working so hard.

SISTER ERIKA
Erika has always been my role model in everything.  she's always accepted me-even back in my weirdest days.  i've always admired how she made people feel and how everyone always wanted to be around her because she was so much fun!  i have also watched her be extremely nonjudgmental towards others.  she is friends with many different types of people and is always understanding, an example, and a wonderful listener for them all.

COUSINS 
all of my cousins have been examples for me in my life, but i want to specifically talk about the girl cousins just barely older than me.  they have always been examples of strength and high standards.  being the youngest of them all i have always looked up to each one of them and carefully watched and listened to everything they did.

BEST FRIEND SOFIA
even though i have only known this girl for one year of my life, i feel like i have known her for 20.  maybe it's because we shared the most important year of our life and went through new experiences together.  i met sof last year at my first year of college and first year of moving out.

she is the most pleasant person i have ever been around.  i have honestly probably been around her 24/7 for one whole year almost and never gotten sick of her.  don't tell me sof isn't something special because i think it takes a really special/Christlike person to spend all that time with me and still like me.
i don't think i have ever seen her be rude to anyone--now that's Christlike.  she takes time for everyone and makes everyone around her feel special and wanted.  she will do any favor for anyone--no matter the size.  she is able to get along with any type of person no matter how hard they seem to get along with.
she has brought out probably my weirdest side.  maybe its because she is so weird herself, so i think, "what do i have to lose!"  i know she'll accept me and like me no matter what i do, or what mistakes i make.

I LOVE ALL THESE PEOPLE AND I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR WHAT EACH HAS TAUGHT ME ABOUT LIFE--LIVING IT TO THE FULLEST AND BEING THE BEST I CAN BE!  

My cousin recently passed away in a car accident while serving her mission in New York...

here are some poems i found that just remind me of her and all my other wonderful cousins.  

i love my cousins <3

for my cousin…with love

to know I have a cousin,

to turn to…when I’m blue,

a cousin who is there for me,

in everything I do…

is such a source of comfort,

such a treasure to be sure,

it makes the problems that I face,

which easier to endure.

And when I’m feeling joyful…

Taking everything in stride,

It’s uplifting to share laughter

With my cousin by my side.

Though words are never quite enough

The message that I send…

Is that I feel blessed to have you,
As my cousin and my friend!

abe lincoln.

Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States once said...

"  Whatever you are...be a good one.  "

 Good ole Abe was a wise man.  It doesn't matter who you are...what you do...how weird you are... :) as long as you're a good one!!  STORY OF MY LIFE!!

Like my best friend Sofia once said...

"  Abraham Lincoln said...be yourself!  "

 Dead on Sof ~ How did you know!?

Platypus?

Just horse it!

Maybe I get my weirdness from him...

A bull? An ox?

The best kind of kiss....a platypus one! <3

the future.

Fears of the future, of the unknown distance

Not knowing what will lie behind the next door or fence.

My life changing in every direction

Decisions and more decisions, they’ll never be done.

What does the rest of my life hold?

What kind of person will I be when I am old?

Who am I supposed to be?

When I reach the age of seventy-three?

Everything in my way coming and moving so fast,

We don’t realize how lucky we are until it’s past.

Thing happening, things you’re not used to.

All around me experiences oh so new.

It’s okay to mess up and lose.

We learn everytime that we choose.

Constant evaluation, what am I doing wrong?

What can I do so I can be more strong?

Why does time have to never last?

Before we know it the moment is past.

Where did the time go?

It seemed like it was moving so slow.

Playing Barbie, house, and dress up too,

Talkshows and Annie; of our potential we didn’t have a clue!

When did we grow up and get older?

Try to be my best, but I seem to just get colder.

Finding my own personality and face

Maybe others I will someday no longer chase.

What’s my purpose in life and who will I grow to love?

He knows my plan and how I’ll get back to him above.

Getting older is part of our development,

The plan and layout of our lives are heaven sent.

It may be hard at times and trials everyday,

But he’s solved that by allowing us to pray.

We’ll fund ourselves and our direction we will take,

Promise to do our best and fulfill our promises—for his sake.

written May 26, 2011.   

       
  Mississippi River in Nauvoo, Illinois 

Nauvoo Illinois Temple